just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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