I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
