you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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