the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
