wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year