I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".