got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Farmville is her only friend.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!