don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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