I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
