Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
