I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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