The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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