We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
