she was so not down for the gang bang
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
