he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
