i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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