Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
