I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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