Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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