Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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