i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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