The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How's work?
Spinning.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
