im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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