this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
