I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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