So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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