Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize