Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize