think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
