it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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