shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
