Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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