Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
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I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.