for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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