Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize