I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
