I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
