"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize