And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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