Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
