You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He has the fingertips of a God
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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