what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
