I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Found your dick twin last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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