We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
