The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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