Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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