I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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