YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
