Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
