More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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