He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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