the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
