hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
