One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize