Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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