If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
