oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
