he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize