how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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