It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
