This is not my ceiling
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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