Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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