u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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